Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend
The double doors of the Playground slid open as I stepped forward. I eyed those gathered in disdain. Not a single one of them was worth my time, and yet here I was.


The goddess looked over at me with an annoyed sigh. “What do you want, Frost?”

“World domination, to be God’s dominatrix, a wardrobe she doesn’t fall out of..” Bobby muttered. I flashed him a deadly look which he ignored. Unbelievable. The child.

“I’m merely here to offer my assistance in your endeavor.” I said coolly.

Silence frowned. We make work together, but we hardly got along. “And why the hell would you offer anything?”

The part where I had to swallow my pride. “I don’t like being in debt to others.”

Those that came from Weirdbard Academy shared a notable look. The Slayer, The Agent, and The Fool all looked utterly clueless. It was typical for ones such as them.

I could tell Silence was conversing with her friends in that silent manner I knew well.

Little Miss Chaos beamed suddenly. ::Oh you can come along. On one condition::

I arched a finely groomed eyebrow. ::And what, pray tell, is that?::

::No using your secondary mutation until we reach Lilith:: Raina grinned.

I gritted my teeth together in annoyance. I did not appreciate being mocked, nor did I enjoy being kept in the dark. Not being allowed to change into my diamond form was going to be a hindrance. It would not kill me, but it would still be unwelcome.

::Lilith’s weakness happens to be diamonds, Frostie:: Alli explained and held up a diamond yo-yo in her hand.

I burst out laughing and the three children stared at me as if I were insane.

Raina rolled her eyes. ::You’ll be our ace in the hole::

::See, you are good for something besides falling out of your uniforms:: Drake’s inner voice had that same touch of mirth that annoyed me so dearly when spoken. I resisted the urge to flash fry his mind on principle.

I held my head up. “When do we leave?”

The doors flew open and the space pirate clone and the Jedi girlfriends of Weirdbard were standing there along with the frail mage with golden skin.

“Not without us.” Mavra said, her hand on her hip next to her blaster.

“We wouldn’t dream of it.” Silence grinned at her friends.

I rolled my own eyes and sneered at the mage. “What good is he going to be?”

His golden eyes with those hourglass shaped pupils studied me from beneath his cloak. I had very few dealings with him before I left the academy in the first place, and had even less reason to socialize with him now. I knew what he saw. He saw me withering and rotting away like he saw all things. Raistlin Majere returned the sneer.

“My magiks will be far more useful then you may think.”

“Didn’t you die the last time you were in Hell?” I threw offhandedly.

The mage prepared a retort, but found himself doubled over in another one of his coughing fits. He settled for glareing at me, those eyes boring holes into me.

“And how many times have you died, Emma?” Mavra asked casually.

Damn Jedi. “Less times than Jean.”

“Hell, my avatars have died less times than Jean.” Silence muttered, and her little sidekick snickered.

I was starting to rethink my offer.

It was an odd thing.
Goddess, Silence, Magic
I was looking at a holo-map in the Lunatic Café‘s Playground, trying to find that bitch, Lilith. She’d tricked Weirdbard and managed to rip his heart out.


But that wasn’t the odd thing.

The odd thing wasn’t that the whore had the gall to do it now that I’ve been promoted. Or that Bard had fallen for her trap.

The odd thing was who was coming with me.

Sitting on some playground generated seats were, Buffy Summers, Agent Kita, Xander Harris, my sidekick Allison Warren, my best friend Raina, and her boyfriend Iceman.

My head hurt.

Newbies were Kita and Xander. It wouldn’t be so bad if it were a Xander I knew well. But this one had done such a profoundly stupid thing that none of the Xanders I knew would do.

Kita, I didn’t know real well. But she had guts, and a shining soul. She’d offered to help, and we were going to need all the help we could get.

Buffy.. She wasn’t my student. But this one was my friend, and she had skills she knew other Buffys didn’t have, simply because of the way the previous deity who had my portfolio treated her.

I wish we had more back up.

We were going to have to go to Hell.

Every single deranged level.

I looked around and pointed to a spot on the map. “Ladies and gentlemen. That’s the elevator to Hell. We broke it the last time we went.”

Kita frowned. “If you broke it, how exactly are we going to get in?”

Raina grinned. “That’sthebestpart. Silcanteleportusthere.”

Xander raised a hand. “Okay, I didn’t understand a word of that.”

Bobby Drake, Iceman, snickered as Raina glared at Xander. “She said Sil can teleport us.”

“Okay, so Sil can port us there. Why do we need to know about the elevator?” Buffy asked.

Alli rolled her eyes. “Cause that’s where we’re gonna enter.” She pointed to the papers the newbies had been given. “Didn’t you read up?”

Xander held up the thick stack of papers. “This? We didn’t have time! It’s HUGE!”

“I read it.” Buffy smirked. “Know your enemy, Xand.”

He looked depressed at her semi-cold tone.

I shared a look with Raina and Bobby.

::This isn’t going to go well.:: I said telepathically.

Bobby nodded. ::Luci is going to love this.::

::He’s going to eat this up.:: Raina added.

Yeah.. If he didn’t eat us first.

We were so screwed.


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